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Sharing a Cultural Christmas with your Adopted Child from Russia, Eastern Europe and Latin America
Experts say that international adoption began its most significant rise in December of 1989. This was when the government in Romania fell and that country's plight of poverty was broadcast to the world. On TV we could see, among other things, the faces of thousands of orphaned children stuffed into institutions that the state had failed to properly maintain. As Communist Europe began to emerge from behind the 'Iron Curtain', these images expanded to include children from other countries as well, for example, Russia and the Ukraine. People from North America began reaching out to the orphans in these lands. For some of these countries, the adoption doors that opened at that time have repeatedly shut and reopened while their populations have struggled with the orphans' plight while battling other issues of hunger, unemployment and political unrest. Because of the instability of the adoption situation in Eastern Europe and Russia, opportunities to adopt from Latin American countries began to also draw the attention of North American parents who wanted children. Due to all this activity, the number of adopted Eastern European and Latin children who have entered the United States has soared over the past fifteen years. As time passes, the opinion that these children should be familiarized with their own heritage when adopted into families who don't share that heritage appears to be moving into center stage. Geraldine Sherman, in her article in Toronto Life Magazine entitled From Russia (or China or Peru or Bucharest) with Love states, "Each parent must balance cultural distinction and assimilation." This may get tricky, especially in adoptive families where the culture is strongly adhered to. Sherman cites a seminal study by social workers Anne Westhues and Joyce Cohen, where 126 adopted adolescents were interviewed on the subject of self-definition in a family whose heritage is different from their own. The study shows that "concern is warranted with respect to ethnic and racial identity and racial identity in particular." One seventeen-year-old girl interviewed within this study - a person of color adopted into a Caucasian family - said, "You know, I love my parents and they love me. But every day, when I look at myself in the mirror and look at them, I say, "I don't belong here." This comment may shake some adoptive parents up. No parent wants to think that their child feels dispossessed within the family. But, it is a reality for many adoptive families. My own experience as an adoptee is similar to that of the seventeen-year-old girl. I am Caucasian-Austrian, and adopted into a Caucasian family but the culture of my birth parents is completely different from that of my adoptive parents (Italian). When my adoptive parents' culture, to which they adhered very tenaciously, was pressed upon me (a repeated and often passionate occurrence), I would find that I did not feel like I was one of them. But on the other hand, it irked me that I always felt so clumsy and out of place in their circles. When did it all get easier? It began when I read a book on Austrian history and researched web sites about Austrian culture. and felt like I finally had a bond with a people somewhere. I felt even better when I visited Austria and felt like I could blend in with the population. And when I was given the feeling that even with my inherent differences I was loved and wanted by the family that had adopted me, my personal circle was complete. I wonder how much harder this must be for adopted kids whose very appearance is completely different from that of the families who have taken them in. One mother who adopted a second Chinese child shortly after having experienced the process of adopting her first commented that she had done this because, "wouldn't it be nice if Elizabeth could look across the table and see eyes like hers?" Many adoptive parents now agree that they want their children to have knowledge of the race and/or ethnic background that they were born in. And it's not that hard to find ways of lacing cultural lessons into North American traditions - one just needs to learn about the culture that the adoptive child comes from and try to find activities that will bring to that child a sense that they are keeping a very special part of themselves alive and well. The Christmas season is upon us and this is a wonderful time for parents to start teaching kids who were adopted from abroad about customs and traditions of the countries that they were born in. For these adoptive parents, here are some stories about how Christmas is celebrated in some other countries - the regions I'll take you to are Ukraine, Russia and Latin America. Christmas in Ukraine First of all, as you may already know, Christmas in Ukraine - as well as other countries where Eastern Orthodox Christianity is practiced - is not celebrated on December 25th but on January 7th. This is because the Eastern Orthodox Church follows the Julian Calendar - an older calendar - which is offset from the newer edition - known as the Gregorian Calendar and utilized by the secular and Western Christian worlds - by thirteen days. The Ukrainians accepted Christianity in 988 A.D. when under the rule of King Volodymyr, or St. Vladimir. The new Church adapted many local pagan rituals into its religious holidays and many of these remain part of the celebrations today. As in many European countries, Christmas Eve bears great significance in the Yule rituals(Keep in mind that Christmas Eve here is actually January 6th). In Ukraine, Sviata Vechera, or Holy Supper, is enjoyed as soon as the children of the household see the first star in the sky. This star is a symbol of the journey of the Three Wise Men. The dinner table has wisps of hay placed on its embroidered tablecloth to symbolize the manger in Bethlehem. After the initial prayers and incantations, the head of the family brings in a sheaf of wheat to remind all of the family of the crops from which many of their foods are made. The wheat sheaf also symbolizes the ancestors who, over generations, worked with and nurtured this important harvest. Today it is customary, especially in families who live in the city, to place a few stalks of wheat in a vase in the center of the table. Before the meal, a prayer is said and then the head of the household speaks the traditional Christmas greeting: "Christ is Born!" The family answers with "Let us glorify Him!" and the meal begins. After the Holy Supper, carols are sung either at home or at the houses of friends and neighbors. The family may go out and sing in front of others' houses and are invited in to enjoy beverages and treats. On Christmas day, a joyous but solemn religious Mass is enjoyed and gifts are exchanged in honor of St. Nicholas. The day for St. Nicholas is actually December 19th and in older traditions, gifts were given to children on that day in remembrance of this venerable Bishop who provided for the needs of the poor. Christmas in Russia Before 1917, Christmas celebrations in Russia were, understandably, fairly similar to those in Ukraine (Ukraine only gained its independence from Russia a few years ago). But, among the consequences of the Russian Revolution was the abolition of Yuletide celebrations with their religious connotations and deeply spiritual solemnity. Christmas was not celebrated openly again until 1992. This political course gave rise to a twist of Christmas traditions: some of the traditions that had, historically been carried out on Christmas and its Eve were transferred to the New Year and manifested under a secular guise. Trees were now decorated on New Year's Eve and St. Nick became 'Grandfather Frost'. He had the same mission as St. Nick but was stripped of his clerical history and Christian significance. Today, despite the reinstatement of Christmas in its traditional January 7th slot, New Year's remains the more boisterous and festive celebration. On January 6th, the Holy Supper is still in practice in Russia. It follows a fast on Christmas Eve Day and begins with prayers and the traditional greeting 'Christ is Born!' when the first star appears in the sky. There are no meat entrees allowed in this meal. The Holy Supper honors the coming of the Christ Child and hay decks the white-clothed table that is set for the occasion. A white candle sits at the center of the table - it is a symbol of the fact that Christ is known as 'The Light of the World'. A large bread to symbolize 'Christ, the Bread of Life' is placed next to this candle. The meal consists of twelve foods to symbolize the twelve Apostles of Christ. With some variations from one region to another, these are the foods featured in this meal:
After dinner the dishes are left unwashed and gifts are exchanged and opened. Often, dressing up as characters from the manger scene and roaming from house to house, caroling and having a great time may form a part of a family's Christmas Eve customs. In the Russian tradition, as in the Ukrainian one, St Nicholas is the symbol behind giving gifts. In Russia, however, his feast day is December 6th. Latin American Christmas Many Latin American countries, especially those in South America, adhere to the old and solemn Christmas celebrations of Spain. Therefore the holiday has important religious significance and, though joyous, it is observed with piousness, recreating the legend of the Christ Child with intimate and careful detail. There are, of course, minor variations in the Christmas celebrations from one Latin American country to another. In its basic traditional structure, the Christmas season begins immediately after Thanksgiving with decorating houses and streets and the preparation of the central figure, the Nativity Scene - or Presepio - in every home. In Puerto Rico, after December 1st, groups of singers go from house to house giving 'trullas' (caroling) in return for food and drink. The 'Nine days of Posada' are observed across Latin America from December 16th until the 24th. 'Posada' translates to 'lodging' and this period is meant to commemorate Joseph and Maria's journey from Nazareth to Bethlehem and how they sought lodgings along the way. Each night, a 'posada' is held - these are parades wherein children dress as Maria, Joseph and various angels. Each night, the parade may end in a different home and the hosts will provide treats, drinks, storytelling and songs. In Venezuela, people attend an early morning Church service during the Posada - and many of them roller skate to this Mass! The night before, children tie a string to their big toe, hanging the other end out the window before going to bed. In the morning, when the roller skaters see a string hanging out a window, they give it a friendly tug. In Latin American countries, Christmas is celebrated on December 25th, often with a midnight Mass to begin the holiday. January 6th is the next big day in the Christmas season. This is the day known as 'Dia de los Reyes Magos' (Three Kings' Day) in Latin America. It signifies the night that the three kings made their journey to the manger to present gifts to the Christ Child. On January 5th, the 'three Kings' figurines are added to the Presepio - that may fill the entire room of a house - and children leave shoes by their beds hoping to have them filled with candy and/or trinkets. Gifts may be opened on this day instead of Christmas day. In Mexico, the 'Rosca de Reyes' - Kings' Cake - is made and a Christ Child figurine is placed into one of the pieces. Whomever finds the figurine in their piece of cake becomes the host of the final Christmas milestone, 'Candelaria', or, Candlemas. This will take place on February 2nd and marks the official end of Christmas - all decorations, etc, are removed on this day. Suggestions for cultural Christmas activities with your adopted child. For Ukrainian and Russian Children
Here are two recipes that you may enjoy baking with your child to help him/her get a taste of the country they were born in: Russian Tea Cakes - by Miss Clotfelter. (http://www.recipezaar.com) 1 cup butter (2 sticks)
Kolatki/Kolacki - Ukrainian Christmas Cookies (http://www.recipezaar.com) 1 lb butter (four sticks)
Latin America
Merry International Christmas! |
For parents who have adopted a child from another country, an important question becomes how much to encourage that child to uphold the traditions of the culture in which they were born. Historically, there have been two lines of reasoning regarding this matter: one is that the child has now been accepted into a new cultural milieu and any 'country of origin' issues should take, at best, a back seat and the other is that adoptees should learn who they are while establishing a solid bearing in where they came from.